Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
