BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
