"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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