hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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