Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
