also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
