youre lurking in front of me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
