i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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