hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
