am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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