They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
