You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
