you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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