I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
