i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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