If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
false alarm, still single
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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