I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
