i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
honey bunches of taint.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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