Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
