he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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