i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
