this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i will never coherently bang her
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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