I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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