Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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