Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
