Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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