You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
