using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
