There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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