If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
PANTIES FOUND
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