i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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