I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
