it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
