come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
