Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
