well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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