I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
