Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
