No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
