Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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