So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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