it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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