I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
