She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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