I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
