All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
