Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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