We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
