I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
