he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
