Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
