I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
