I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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