just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
